My sheets look like a crime scene.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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