i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
