After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
