did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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