Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
