Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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