i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
