I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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