My first STD was from a foam party
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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