I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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