glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
