A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
