if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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