You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
