She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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