The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
