Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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