How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Your cock deserves a montage
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
