Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
