YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
