You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Do vagina's smell?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
