Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
