508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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