dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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