At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
