i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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