I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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