For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
