Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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