Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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