What a fucking waste of an outfit
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
