Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
