i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
