My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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