Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
