Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
