Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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