Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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