Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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