Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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