WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
