the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
