This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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