he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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