I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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