I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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