What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
