Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
