please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
