Pappa wants mamma naked
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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