Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
