People with herpes should wear stickers.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Drake has all the answers
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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